My Life: In High Def

So by now you should all know that I need glasses. And that I am not happy about it. Well now, two weeks later, I have glasses. And I'm still not happy about it. I haven't worn them too much. I feel like I need to ease myself into them. When I picked them up the eyeglass technician (salesman? spokesperson?) informed me I don't have a 'horrible prescription.' Which I took to mean my eyes aren't that bad. Maybe I don't need to wear these things afterall! He told me not to wear them while driving until I was used to them. Well, HELLO, the main reason I got them was for driving. So the ONLY time I have worn them has been in the car. And I have to say (sadly) I have seen a huge difference. Turns out those green signs on the road...they actually have words! And license plates...they have numbers! And the spedometer...that's all blurry. Oh wait, thats because I don't need glasses for something as close as the spedometer. That has been the biggest adjustment. My distance vision is spot on. But if I look at anything too close to my face it has a weird etheral haze to it. Do you think that would fly if I got pulled over? I'm sorry, Officer. I have to wear glasses to drive, but they make the spedometer so blurry I can't tell how fast I'm going! The biggest change I've noted, however, has been in the trees. What before was a blob of color in the sky, now has individual leaves! It really is like switching over to a high definition television.

Java

I was shopping the other day and I saw a sign that was quite perfect for me. It was one of those metal retro numbers with a 50s style chick holding a 50s style coffee pot. And it said:

Java Junkie

I drink coffee for your protection

This is sooo true of me. If I haven't had my coffee you just don't want to mess with me.

Shoes

I wouldn't call myself a girl with a shoe fettish. I like shoes. I like buying shoes. But I'm not chomping at the bit to get the latest and greatest styles. And my favorite shoe stores are Payless and Target, so it's not like I have really high standards. But for someone who doesn't have a fettish, I sure do have a lot of shoes. I bring this up because I was organizing my closets yesterday (Yes, I said closets. As in plural. As in my clothes take up two out of three bedroom closets. Plus a dresser. Plus a storage bin. Plus...just kidding) and I decided my shoes were taking up entirely too much shelf space and this must be rectified. And so I purchased a shoe orangizer and proceed to organize every last pair into the appropriate little nook. I also weeded out some clothes and donated a garbage bag full (okay only half a garbage bag, as half was my sister's giveaways). But still it was progress! I got rid of sweaters that have been in the 'Donate if you don't wear it in the next month' category for three years now; but that haven't left the hangers to wear or give away. You would think with the space they were hogging, I would have given up some shoes as well. But I didn't. Every last flip flop was too cute (even though I wear the same two pairs over and over again). The falling apart pair are my Austrailia flip flops, and if you don't know what my Australia flip flops are you don't know me at all, but that's a story for a different day. All the pumps are still in good shape (probably because I don't wear pumps, I wear flats). All the flats...I wear. Even the four inch stilletos (that were given to me, not purchased) that I have never worn could come in handy one day. You know, if I want to break a leg or something. And so even though I still maintain I don't have a fettish. I do, apparently, have trouble parting ways.

Invites

I have gotten three Evites in the last two weeks. And I can't attend any of them! Okay, so it's not like I really want to attend all of them, but what are the odds that I'm not free any of the three days. I guess the odds are pretty good when you work some weekends and they seem to like to schedule you for the most inoportune ones. I have a feeling this is going to be the story of my life this holiday season. Work a bunch of weekends. Have Thanksgiving off. Work three weekends in a ROW have Christmas---oh wait, WORK Christmas. Have New Years off. Maybe make my resolution be to win the lottery, quit my job and go be a beach bum somewhere fabulous.

DST

Don't forget to set your clocks back! I am not a fan of daylight savings time, so I am actually dreading doing this tonight. I know, I know. It's fall. We're turning the clocks back. We get an extra hour. But get real. How many of us will actually go to bed at the same time to take advantage of it. We'll look at the clock and say midnight? Nah, it's really like 11pm. And then we'll continue to stay up and miss out on actually getting an extra hour of sleep. Of course, what with it being a Saturday it could mean an extra hour of partying. It's 2am, the bar is closing, but wait--oh sorry! It's now instantly back to 1am! Bring that last round one more time. And maybe, if I didn't have to be at work at 7am tommorrow morning, I'd be right with you. We are hitting up a concert tonight, so I suppose I should look at it not as gaining an hour of sleep, but not losing an hour of sleep when I stay up later than I should before a 12 and half hour shift. Maybe I am just completely overanalyzing this whole thing and it's more of a psychological phenomenon rather than an actual solid hour of extra sleep that leaves us pumped. But, however, you look at it I would rather keep the sun out longer in the evenings than gain an 'extra hour' once a year. In my neck of the woods it was dark at 6:15 last night. Which means, tomorrow it will be dark at 5:15. Which means it will be dark and I'll still have TWO more hours of work left. And something about that is just plain depressing.

Change Up

It has been recommended to me that I change my blog up a bit. It seems, with a few posts being exceptions, I tend to blog in a 'rant' sort of style. I find it easier to blog about small, sub-consequential, tidbits rather than important matters. And, as it turns out, I especially like to blog about sub-consequential things that annoy me. Just wanted to update you: I realize this. I rant. A lot. And so it has been mentioned that maybe I should embrace it rather than keep apologizing for it. Maybe my blog needs a new title. Here are some possibilities.

1. "My Life in Rants"

2. "A Rant A Day Keeps the Doctor Away"

3. "Sir-Rant-A lot"

I am open to other suggestions.

Tipping

We went out to dinner recently at a popular chain restaraunt in a part of town not known for its exceptional service. In fact, it seems everytime we go to this area, whether it be to eat or shop, we run into surly, incompetent people.

Our waitress on this particular occasion was somewhat of an enigma. We couldn't fault her on her service. She was timely, bringing out all courses and refills promptly. She was efficient, clearing dishes each time she approached the table. She responded to our every need well within the time in which each task should take. She, however, had no personality. At least not one she cared to share with us. She wasn't rude. She did not have an attitude. She was polite in everything she said. She simply made her lack of desire to be serving well known. Her tone was bland, her eyes glazed over in boredom and she made not a single interaction that was not necessary to complete her job.

While eating, we contemplated what to make of this. How should we tip her? Could we really fault her for not being engaging? Our food was hot. It was delievered quicker than expected. Our order was correct and she didn't forget a single appetizer or refil. Still, despite being outwardly polite, her tone and inflection made us feel very unwelcome at her table. What if we gave her a simple 'tip test'? Being decent tippers in most instances we can assume our normal tip would be 20%. What if we broke that down? Ten percent of her tip is based on service and efficiency and ten percent on mood. She'd get the full 10% for service, but her mood ranked about a two out of ten. That's a 12% tip. Hmm...She wasn't that bad.

Okay. So being the customer that actually prefers not to have too much interaction with a server, maybe mood shouldn't rank quite as high as serving capabilities. So she'll get the full 15% for being a capable server. But then while I don't like to be pestered at a meal, and she checked on us an appropriate number of times, I do like to feel welcome and not like I'm burdoning you. So mood now becomes a one out of five for making me feel guilty for inconviencing you.

Service 15/15= 15%

Mood 1/5 (20% of the available 5%)= 1%

Tip 16%

Seems more appropriate. We gave her twenty. But I think I may use this for future interactions. Thoughts?