Two weeks ago there was a knock at my door. This was unusual, but expected, as our sound technician was due any minute to finish setting up the surround sound (one of our coolest wedding gifts!). Except when I got to the door there wasn't anyone there. Strange. The sound guy knows to use the back door. So I walked to the front of the house, opened the door, and found the police. I knew it was the police not by his uniform, he was in plainclothes, but by the very official looking, and quite daunting shiny badge and photo ID he waved in my face. "Hello, Ma'am I am so-and-so from the department of such-and-such," he said. I have no idea what department it was, like I said...shiny badge...police on the doorstep...daunting. All sensible thought and survival skills flew out the window as my mind scrambled to figure out what I had done. Or what my husband had done. That's right, I have a husband now. Maybe they're after him. Whew. I'm safe. What's that? Oh, he's looking for a Mr. D.B. I don't know a Mr. D.B.
"Uh...um...I'm sorry, sir. I don't know who that is."
"Well, this is [insert my address here], isn't it?" Oh crap. He knows where I live.
"Yes." But wait...!!
"There are three different tenants on this property." Maybe he's looking for one of them. Except "I know the people downstairs and they aren't D.B. There is another guy though. He comes and goes a lot and often isn't around. I've never met him. My, um, uhhh, my husband has, but he is out of town." Great I just stuttered over husband. It's a new term, but that sounded fishy. Especially since he's conveniently out of town. Oh good he's leaving, he bought it. Err, not that there was anything to buy. That was the truth. Just cause the police are questioning you, doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Must remember that in the future.
"There are three different tenants on this property." Maybe he's looking for one of them. Except "I know the people downstairs and they aren't D.B. There is another guy though. He comes and goes a lot and often isn't around. I've never met him. My, um, uhhh, my husband has, but he is out of town." Great I just stuttered over husband. It's a new term, but that sounded fishy. Especially since he's conveniently out of town. Oh good he's leaving, he bought it. Err, not that there was anything to buy. That was the truth. Just cause the police are questioning you, doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Must remember that in the future.
So the po po heads around back to scope things out. And runs into the sound guy. He questions him: "Are you D.B?"
"Uh, no. I'm going to see my, um, sister-in-law." Nice. We both stuttered over the new terms. We are super convincing and smooth. I half expected him to return with accusations of harboring this D.B dude. So far, police free for 15 days and counting....
1 comment:
So, I literally laughed out loud when I read "po po." You are so white.
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